How to Prove a Co-parent Is Emotionally Abusing a Child

Maine courts always prioritize the best interests of the child in parental rights and responsibilities cases (the term used for child custody cases in Maine).

As such, a child can be removed from an abusive environment by a judge. Before this can happen, proof of the abuse—whether physical or emotional—is required.

While physical abuse may leave cuts, bruises, and scars as evidence, emotional abuse can be far more challenging to prove, often requiring the skills of an experienced family lawyer.

If you are a parent in this difficult situation, here is what you need to know about proving that a co-parent is emotionally abusing your child.

Emotional or psychological abuse of a child may be harder to detect than physical abuse but there are behavioral signs that every parent should be aware of if they are separated from the other parent.

A parent sometimes needs to discipline a child but emotional abuse entails a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or sense of self-worth. Often, it is considered controlling behavior by a parent, designed to isolate, frighten, or manipulate the child into following his/her directions.

This can include insulting behavior (using derogatory names), belittling or humiliating the child, threatening, or intimidating behavior or simply depriving the child of affection. Over time, this can have a serious impact on the child’s health and well-being—and it must be prevented.

The abuse laws in Maine cover a wide spectrum of behavior for a wide spectrum of individuals. As well as the physical, sexual, or emotional abuse of children, the laws help protect against abuse for elderly, dependent, and incapacitated adults by extended family members and unpaid care providers.

Abuse can include:

• Physical hurt
• Sexual assault
• Threatening to injure
• Making an individual afraid of being hurt

In Maine, if you file an action against someone you are married to, used to be married to, dated or used to live with, you must prove the abuse according to the legal definition of abuse, which can be found here.

The first step to proving emotional abuse is to recognize the signs. This can be difficult because a child’s unusual behavior is sometimes put down to “growing pains” or “the teenage years.” Children do go through emotional changes as well as physical changes as they grow and this makes detecting the signs of emotional abuse even more challenging.

Some of the most common symptoms of emotional abuse include:

• Unusually withdrawn behavior (lack of social interaction)
• Unusually compliant behavior
• Low self-esteem and confidence
• Emotional outbursts and mood swings
• Unusually poor school grades
• Relationship difficulties with friends/family members
• Difficulty sleeping or loss of appetite

While the above types of behavior could be due to many things, it is important not to discount emotional abuse if there is reason to believe that it may be occurring.

Proving emotional abuse in a child custody case is not easy. Despite the priority of Maine judges to protect the welfare of children, they are also wary of parents accusing co-parents of abuse to gain the upper hand in disputes over parental rights and responsibilities.

Each case will be thoroughly investigated before action is taken. That said, the following steps will improve your chances of successfully proving that a co-parent is guilty of ongoing emotional abuse of a child and adversely affecting the child’s health and well-being.

Secure strong legal representation

A favorable outcome of your emotional abuse case against a co-parent is more likely with assistance from a lawyer experienced in this area.

As we have seen, proving emotional abuse is challenging and your lawyer will collect and present evidence to the court in the form of a compelling, persuasive argument. You will also benefit from the support of a lawyer who can alert you to important legal deadlines and advise the best legal strategies to help win the case.

Document any abusive or inappropriate behavior

Your lawyer will advise you to document any abusive or inappropriate actions by the co-parent—and to keep an ongoing log or journal of this, noting what happened along with the time/date.

Also, note if your child displays any of the signs of emotional abuse outlined above, such as unusually withdrawn behavior, low self-esteem, lack of sleep or loss of appetite.

Prepare substantial evidence with your lawyer

Emotional abuse by a parent is a serious accusation—and the Maine courts will expect substantial supporting evidence besides logs of the abusive behavior. Your lawyer will help you prepare the following types of evidence:

• Other documented evidence, such as emails, texts, or chat messages.
• Smartphone video, audio, and/or photos that can support the claims in court.
• Witness testimonies from relevant parties who can attest to the abusive behavior, such as relatives, friends, teachers, neighbors, coaches, or other responsible adults.
• Psychological evaluations of the child, and/or the co-parent, from a licensed professional.

Prioritize your child’s needs

A court case against a parent’s abuse is an emotional time. It can be easy to lose sight of the most important individual in all of this: your child.

Remaining calm and making decisions in the best interests of your child’s needs will help you and your child end up in a better place with the assistance of the court.

Cases can become fraught, especially with an aggressive or irrational co-parent, but part of your role is to shield your child from the potential negative impact of this and to lead by example to provide a stable and nurturing environment for the child.

The main reason for hiring a family lawyer for co-parenting issues in Maine should not be to “win” the case against your ex—but to ensure that the best interests of the child are presented in the best way possible to the court.

If this means protecting the child from emotional abuse by the co-parent, a qualified family lawyer can certainly assist.

You may need to fight for a custody arrangement that protects your child from further abuse. Your lawyer can help you gather and present supporting evidence to this end. Contact between the child and the abusive parent may need to be limited at least temporarily. Supervised visits or even protection orders may be required. This is all easier with the help of an experienced lawyer.

Parents with any history of drug abuse, mental illness or criminal activity can also benefit from legal assistance in parental rights and responsibilities cases—as questions may be raised over their fitness to parent during custody battles.

Experienced Maine family lawyers understand the various laws on parental rights and responsibilities and how they apply to different types of cases. As well as following the right legal strategies, your lawyer will also ensure you file the right paperwork, meet deadlines, and understand the legal procedures.

If you need legal assistance with a parental rights case in Maine, speak to an experienced family law attorney at The Maine Divorce Group during an initial consultation.