How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation in Maine

While no divorce in Maine can be finalized without the authorization of a judge, spouses themselves may not need to set foot in a courtroom.

Parties in a divorce can make any agreement they like. As long as the best interests of the children are looked after (if applicable), nothing may impede the conclusion of the divorce process.

In reality, however, disputes over divorce matters may arise—usually concerning property division, financial support, child custody, or other parenting matters. In any case, drafting agreements without the assistance of a lawyer to protect your legal rights and ensure that all key details have been covered is inadvisable.

Often, the best way to resolve disputed matters is through collaboration between lawyers or divorce mediation, rather than through litigation.

With divorce mediation, the spouses may meet both separately (at first) and together with a trained and independent mediator, who attempts to facilitate an agreement between the disputing parties regarding their family matters.

The mediator guides discussions to seek common ground and find “win-win” solutions, unlike litigation, which ends up with a “winner” and a “loser”.

Spouses may attend mediation sessions with or without their respective divorce attorneys. They remain in control of any final decisions. The mediator can explain the legal consequences of any agreements made, but cannot provide legal advice or make decisions.

Besides the “win-win” solutions sought in mediation, the other main benefits of divorce mediation are as follows:

• Lower legal costs than litigation, which may involve multiple court appearances and considerable evidence-gathering, all of which costs time and money. With mediation, you generally only pay for the mediator’s time—and some court-ordered sessions may be free.
• Lower stress than litigation. Mediation is conducted in a less formal setting than a courtroom, which can be a stressful environment for some people.
• Preservation of privacy. Courtroom trials are public while mediation is kept confidential. This can be important for spouses who don’t want to share private details of their marriage.

Preservation of the relationship. This is especially important if you have children and need to co-parent after separation. Mediation is less adversarial than litigation and is more likely to end amicably.

After agreeing to mediation, start preparing the documentation you will need for the first mediation session. Your mediator will need to know plenty of details about the circumstances of your marriage and divorce, as well as each party’s main goals during the mediation process.

Your mediator may provide a list of documents required. Generally, it’s best to start gathering the following as soon as possible:

• Court documents: a file containing all documentation filed with or required by the court.
• A comprehensive list of assets and debts (marital property): property, vehicles, bank accounts, investments, items of value, loans, debts, etc.
• Financial statements for bank accounts, credit cards, loans, etc.
• Contact information for family members, as well as any financial institutions, brokers, or financial planners that you are in communication with.

Depending on how your mediator likes to work, you may need to scan and send these documents before the first mediation session. Also, prepare a list of the matters most important to you so that you can refer to it and prompt yourself in the mediation session if need be.

You should also check and prepare payment (if applicable) according to the payment terms of the mediator. Organize with your spouse beforehand who will pay the costs.

Finally, make sure you know how to get to the mediation location and be sure to arrive on time.

Depending on the nature of the disputed matters and what you and your spouse want to gain from mediation, you should be prepared to discuss some or all of the following types of topics:

• Marital property and debt division: This is one of the main disputed areas in divorces as couples prepare for separate financial futures. Most importantly, you’ll need to decide what is marital property (which must be divided equitably in Maine) and what is separate property.
• Retirement account division: Retirement accounts are a major asset, with division often complex and a major source of contention.
• Spousal support (alimony): Your lawyer/mediator can explain whether you or your spouse will need to pay support or are entitled to receive it based on your respective incomes.
• Child custody and child support: For couples with children, their care, welfare, and financial support after the separation is the primary consideration. Be prepared to discuss where the children will live, who makes decisions for their upbringing, visitation/ parenting time, and related expenses that must be met.
• Insurance: Medical, vehicle, property, and other insurance must be factored into all decisions and calculations.
• Dispute resolution: How matters that cause disagreements between the partners in the future will be solved.

When divorcing couples first separate, several issues stand out as potentially causing disagreements or disputes. The sooner that these issues are addressed, the better.

Divorce mediation is a way for both partners to discuss the issues in a non-threatening, relatively informal environment, guided by a trained professional who can assist with seeking common ground and explain the consequences of decisions. It may require several sessions to reach a satisfactory result, but it’s still much quicker and cheaper than litigation.

Addressing problems comprehensively and early can also remove much of the stress from a divorce and is better for preserving the relationship, which can be beneficial if you have children.

The best interests of the children come first in all decisions made about divorces with children by the Maine courts. Spouses should follow suit—and if the children are of a mature enough age, parents should consider the child’s preferences when making key decisions.

Once the main parenting, custody, support, and property division matters have been decided, a mediation agreement can be drafted by the mediator and signed by each spouse. This document should be carefully reviewed by the spouses’ respective lawyers to make sure that nothing is missed and that the agreement not only reflects each partner’s wishes but is also legally enforceable.

If you need legal assistance with divorce mediation in Maine, speak to an experienced family law attorney at The Maine Divorce Group during an initial consultation.