Signs Your Marriage May Be Over

How can you tell if the problems you’re experiencing in your marriage are just “bumps in the road” or something more serious?

Will you be able to iron out the issues together or is your marriage over?

If you get five marriage therapists in a room, they are unlikely to agree on all the surefire signs of a marriage breakup, but we’ve compiled a list of 10 signs that most would agree on.

It’s not just about having raging arguments and throwing things at each other, Marriage breakdowns are complicated, and no two are the same, despite many common signs.

Hopefully, as you read through these, you’re shaking your head more than nodding, but if that’s not the case, we’ve also included a section on the steps to take if you think that divorce is the best option.

The strongest married couples are usually good friends first and foremost.

The majority of time in a marriage is spent outside of the bedroom so you need to be able to enjoy each other’s company, have fun together and look out for each other to remain strong during the inevitable issues that arise in a marriage.

If you no longer feel happy being with your spouse socially, it’s a sign that things need to change and your marriage isn’t as strong as you thought it was.

It’s normal to feel some stress in a marriage — just ask any parent. Even if you don’t have children, life can get the better of either partner in a marriage from time to time.

But if high stress and anxiety levels are common and you find yourself making excuses to avoid spending time together, it’s doing neither you nor your spouse any good. This situation may damage your physical health as well as your mental health and you may need to plan your escape from a relationship that has turned toxic.

If you find yourself checking up on your spouse behind their backs — or they start checking on you — it’s a sign of a trust breakdown in the marriage, which is far from a healthy situation.

The strongest relationships are built on trust and if this central pillar comes tumbling down, a lot of negative behaviors can follow in the marriage.

A marriage involves two people from different families, often different backgrounds and with different personalities. Often, it’s these differences that bring a couple together but somewhere during the marriage, this can become clouded.

Sometimes, a marriage develops into a battle for control — where the differences between each other are no longer celebrated for what they are but seen as characteristics that need to be changed.

To make a marriage work, compromise is necessary between spouses and you must respectfully recognize that your differences are part of what attracted you to each other in the first place.

A marriage involves two people from different families, often different backgrounds and with different personalities. Often, it’s these differences that bring a couple together but somewhere during the marriage, this can become clouded.

Sometimes, a marriage develops into a battle for control — where the differences between each other are no longer celebrated for what they are but seen as characteristics that need to be changed.

To make a marriage work, compromise is necessary between spouses and you must respectfully recognize that your differences are part of what attracted you to each other in the first place.

If you’re already living separate lives, it could be a sign that the love, fun, trust and respect have already vanished from your marriage. This is especially the case if you and/or your partner have already had an affair.

Couples who are still in love want to spend time together, take responsibility for one another and certainly don’t try to avoid each other.

Financial problems are a frequent reason for marital issues. Sometimes, a couple is financially incompatible, i.e., one of the spouses spends money in a way that the other cannot accept.

While this issue can often be resolved over time (and with good communication), it can also derail a marriage if it is left unaddressed as it can lead to trust issues and other problems.

Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship and, while there will be times when it’s less important and the regularity decreases, a complete absence of intimacy should be a red flag.

A sexless relationship where the thought of intimacy with your spouse fills you with dread and/or you imagine yourself with someone else is not a healthy situation but it is not necessarily terminal. Marriage therapy may help (as it can help with any of the problems outlined in this post).

Sometimes, couples simply “grow apart”. The spouses used to want the same things but the longer they stay together, the more they want different things in life.

When your future goals no longer include your spouse, it’s a sign that you’ve grown apart. It can be difficult to return to a strong and flourishing relationship once the goals you once shared are lost.

When you and your spouse married, you were two individuals in love. Sometimes, during a marriage, one partner starts to lose identity and no longer feels like themselves. He/she no longer sees the same social group and no longer does the things that made them happy.

One of the beauties of marriage is the experiences you share but it’s also important to retain your identity. If you compromise too much and lose this, it can lead to unhappiness and other issues.

There is no right and wrong way to live a marriage.

Even if you find yourself nodding at a few of the signs detailed above, it doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is over. It could be the wake-up call that you need to do something about the types of problems that almost every marriage experiences at some point.

However, if you’re thinking about a divorce, consider these recommended steps;

If you have decided on a divorce, speak to an experienced attorney at The Maine Divorce Group during an initial consultation for legal advice and support.